I was just about to make a posting about how I feel I am a passive aggressive man. But then I did a google search, hit the first link, "traits of a Passive Aggressive Man", reading #1 point.

FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his autonomy & afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs - usually by trying to control you.

Maybe that's me, a bit of a stretch, but let's read on.

FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & often mistrusful, he is reluctant to show his emotional fragility. He's often out of touch with his feelings, reflexively denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love. He picks fights to create distance.

That could be me too, but then a lot fo guys (especially in the Chinese Christian Community I find) could fall into this category. Do I pick fights, sometimes I think. And do I hide my emotional fragility, I don't know if I'd go that far, but for sure I hide my emotions a lot of times. Let's keep on reading I thought.

FEAR OF COMPETITION - Feeling inadequate, he is unable to compete with other men in work and love. He may operate either as a self-sabotaging wimp with a pattern of failure, or he'll be the tyrant, setting himself up as unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to his power.

I don't think I classify for this. Seems a bit extreme, a "tyrant", nah. "Self Sabotaging", nah. I like to think that I do view multiple situations possibly as "competition", but I respect it too, and don't try to win everything.

OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell a p/a man what you want, no matter how small, and he may promise to get it for you. But he won't say when, and he"ll do it deliberately slowly just to frustrate you. Maybe he won't comply at all. He blocks any real progress he sees to your getting your way.

This is not me. I may try to help people get what they want, but I try not to make promises I cannot keep. Certain situations I may do it slower, but it's not to frustrate anyone, it's just sometimes I'm lazy. and I don't block peoples' progress.


So I kept on reading, and reading, thinknig, this is not me, nor this. Maybe I'm not the passive aggressive guy I think I might be. If that's the case, then I am happy.

But I do know I do something that made me think I may be a passive aggressive guy. And perhaps this is just a trait of being passive aggressive. That is when someone says something that in my mind does not sit right with me or perhaps I find it somewhat offensive, I will either act aggressively with full force to challenge, or come up with some indirect remark that if you read into it, was a shot in the arm. It's that second part that I think some people classify as passive aggressive.

I actually do want to change, not so much to change to do situation #1, but be more political about things. Letting it go even though it does not sit well with me. I don't really feel that it's the healthiest thing, it almost feels like a battle of wits. That if I make my remark and nothing comes in return, that I've won.

Lord, I pray that I am more patient and compassionate towards people. That though I may not be the most pleased at times with people, that I show restraint and not take shots at them. I know that people are not perfect, and that I should not expect them to be. It is my prayer that I can show more patience towards them, talk to them with compassion and love, and be truthful about how I feel in a more truthful and loving manner.