Kids can be so Cruel

So yesterday I said something about how my earlier years in the church were not too pleasant. So I thought I’d elaborate, I doubt anyone would catch something so small as what those words imply, but I’m going to elaborate anyways.

So let me tell you, I’ve been going to Toronto Chinese Baptist Church since grade 2. Quite a long time really, but most people would not know that I’ve been there that long. Things were okay, but I never really felt wanted. As a child, the thing you want most is a) attention b) friends and c) acceptance. I could not get either going to TCBC. Already the people around me knew each other well, because their parents hung out, and thus they hung out, etc etc. So over the years my mom brought my sister and I to different churches, went to SCBC a few times, to this church I have no idea what the acronym is cause I still have problems sorting them all out, but it’s at Leslie and Shepherd, near IKEA. Went to another in a school by Don Mills and Shepherd, whatever it’s called? But anyways, I did not like any of them. Despite not liking TCBC too much, I disliked those even more.

So I kept going to TCBC. Except at that point, my dad was in Hong Kong, and my mom did not like driving too much, let alone on highways. So we would make out once a month visit to TCBC when it was beginning of month, so my mom went to communion. So what happens at beginning of month in Sunday school? Well, the teacher brought snacks for us. So now, I’m being labeled as being the kid who only comes for the food. Obviously this did not sit well with me. Kids can be so mean. I have feelings too you know. So this went on time after time, and I could not take this embarrassment anymore. So what I decided to do was go with my mom to Cantonese Service. So I just sat there during the service instead of going to Sunday school.

On top of all that, I was also made fun of because I went to a Catholic school. This did not sit well with me either. So like I said, my early childhood years did not bode well. So I don’t know how long this lasted for, but I’d give it at least grade 6. Again, kids can be so cruel, even at church.

So before I talk more about this, I’d like to let you know I’ve made friends with just about everyone who did this to me. I only ever brought it up once to one of them, they were like “they were just joking”. Of course, looking back now we can all say that, but as a kid, it’s hard to see. Of course, she had problems of her own to deal with back then at church. I won’t get into that, but by this time, everyone from my church, especially my grade will know who and what I’m talking about. So even though I don’t care anymore, I still remember what happened and what almost drove me away from God.

I don’t understand why kids are mean. I think it’s just that when a child says something, they do not think about the ramification it holds. And this is understandable, I as a kid too say things without really thinking about it. I don’t ever remember bullying anyone or saying things that hurt others, but if I did, and they read this, I am sorry. This reminds me of the movie Billie Madison where the character Adam Sandler starts calling a whole bunch of people he offended and one of them was someone he tormented as a child. Then that guy ends up crossing Adam Sandler off his list of “To Kill” and ends up saving his life later on in the movie. So to all those, I am sorry.

So some people say those who bully are those who are neglected at home. They have this void in them that they fill by taking on others. They do it for attention, to be known. I doubt this was the reason at my church though. But these kids I feel sorry for as well. I mean, like I said at beginning, we want attention which leads to love. If they feel neglected at home, then they most likely lack this love. Love is probably greatest thing in world, and if they don’t have this as a child, then what happens? So I hope as future parents out there, that they think whether they have time to spare for your kids? Think about what you wanted as a child, and make sure you give all that and more.

Why else do kids insult? Well, they just don’t know it. That is probably the case with me. It’s just little things that can torment a child when they are young. It’s not something we can really fix or anything. The child probably does not even think yet, which is where puberty comes in.

But I think the worst part is when you’re a child, you’re at your most vulnerable stage in life. Anything that happens in your childhood can have massive affect to you as an adult. I mean things can happen that will scar a child’s life. Look at all those children out there who are abused as a child, things like that can require long hours of therapy. So let’s all hope we can raise good children, it’s a dangerous world out there.

For those of your interested, I have made friends with almost everyone from Sunday school. I have no vendettas against anyone. Took a while to get adjusted and accepted and build friendships, but it was worth it.

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