So end of last week my mom told me I got a call from one of my former collegues at CIBC. She was the team leader of our group, and then went onto a higher position after I left in another part of the company. We have tried to keep in touch, but it has been hard in doing so. Anyways, she called me last week out of the blue when I was not at home, and left a number for me to call her back at. After a week of trying to reach her, I finally got a hold of her at worklast night. She invited me to her house for a Christmas party with several other past and present colleagues. So I was thinking, that would be nice. Then she told me it was a semi-formal event, and I was like, I don't want to dress up again. And then I heard some of the attendees, and suddenly I am overwhelmed by the people that are coming. These are people that are not my equal, they are making at least double what I am making, and are all Managers/senior Managers, and Directors. And here I am some little guy who is not even finished school. Suddenly things start crossing my mind as to how I will fit in. And I think, can I have conversation with these people, I only know some of the well enough to carry on a conversation. So what keeps on my mind is that this is an opportunity for me to connect with people, and try and develop contacts for my future. But is this wrong?

I am thinking this kind of defeats the purpose of the party, when probably the intention is for fun and seeing people. Whereas here I am going with a purpose, to try and find myself some contacts in the future. I think this is kind of bad that I go in there with motives other than the purpose. But who can blame me, I am not as established as probably all there, I am much younger than all of them there, probably by a good 12-20 years. And my future is still up in the air, who can blame me. I guess I'll find out when it's done

My company Christmas party is dumb too. I am only going cause it's proabably good food, and nothing else. I'm not paying for it, so it's me and a guest, so I invited one of my good friends. But I also have to dress up for this. Which is not a big problem, but a hassle I could do without. I don't necessarily want to dance there or anything, but hey, it's free food, at a nice place, why not?

Something I was thinking in the car was about referrals. There was this show on tv earlier this season, I don't remember it's name. Basically it was with three pretty girls, who just graduated law school and are working in this law firm. So one of the episodes (it has since been cancelled, too bad, I thought it was good) had one of the girls go to this lawyer who left the profession in disgrace many years back. So she made him realize he still had a passion for the profession and asked her to refer her in her firm, so he can get back into the business. She refused to refer him because she felt he was not a good referral, and it would ruin her reputation. This is because this guy was a recovering alcoholic. So I was thinking to myself, if someone needed a referral from me in the future, would I actually think about whether I would refer, or would I just do it? I think this lawyer girl made a good decision, because this guy was not a good referral, and by referring, you say this is a good candidate for a job, even though he isn't. I never really thought about the severity of referrals, but now I think, hmm, I need to make sure people would refer me. But then I ask, am I good referral? I think I need to think about this more, and make sure I don't give off the wrong impressions. Impressions at my age are so important.

Alright, no more time at work, I'll write some more when I have more time. Tonight no Men's group because everyone seems to have work. So Happy Thanksgiving!