So I am all done now. Did I tell you I started missing school towards the end of the school year. Yes I know it's depressing to hear that, but let's face it. If you've had something for so long, when you do not have it you start to miss it. I do miss school but I think it's mostly because I have no job. But what can I do?

It's kind of been boring being off from school becuase I have no job, nothing to do, I've just been watching movies all week. Now I don't mind it right now, but a few more weeks of it and I'll be going crazy. So if anybody knows of any position openings, even if it's not directly related to computers, give me a shout, I just may be interested. So many years of computer and I may be looking for some change.

I wanted to respond to something my friend Mike wrote on his blog. He talked about how it's hard to break into a group of friends and integrate yourself into that group. I have gone through this problem a lot over past few years actually. Lemme tell you about a few experiences. So over past 5-7 years, I have associated myself with many different groups, I'd say probably 5-6 different groups. I know many people have the same thing, and never should your lives cross or mix. And that is how I've seen my life. That I have many friends, with many different groups, minimal overlap, but nobody really really close. Now I find that unfortunate, but we'll talk about that another time.

I have been trying to integrate myself into this one group for about 2-3 years. Many within this group have grown up together, and I have just recently seen them more often and I do like them as a group. I want to do more thigns with them and get to know them better. But I always feel there is something missing between us. That I am missing this one special thing that I can never gain and thus can never be fully associated with them.

How do I gauge whether I am fully associated with them, or considered "a part of the group". Well, the way I see it is this, if a group of them are doing something, then they would think to invite you. I think that is the one defining factor because if someone thinks to call you and invite you, you know that they are a good friend (either that or want something). Anyways, several times I feel I don't really fit in with them, despite aggressively trying to become better friends with them. Anyways, my point is when they have a long history with each other, it's always hard to come in as an outsider, even though you know the whole group.

I have another similar experience with a small group, and I have not know them all very well for a long period. But I guess for some time now I have tried to become their friend. But the difference with this group is that they have "friends" that I do not really know, and so that is why I cannot really ever become good friends with them. I find this unfortunate, because I really have not had that much time to get to know them, but I feel like we could be good friends. Anyways, I think it may be a lost cause for anything substantial, we'll see what happens.

So anyways, my friend's comment on how you make friends in a new place. I don't think there is a definite way. I've tried waiting, I've tried submersing yourself into that group for an extended period of time and trying hard to integrate, has no worked very well either. I think for those one or two people who you will be very very good friends with, it won't take effort, it will jsut come naturally. But trying to become friends with a group of people is different. I think that with a goof friendship takes effort. So no you don't just sit there and wait. But try to make things happen, and then wait I think.
But then a question was should you try to make friends. I would say why not? It becomes kind of lonely without friends. I mean someone has to make the first initiative, and a lot of times I am not unwilling to make that move, but if I get nothing in return, then it probably isn't worth more of an effort if you've put enough in it. But that's my opinion.

My feeling is a true friendship means that no matter how long you are apart, it'll take no time for you two to catch up and feel like friens again once you see each other. This has only happened a few times for me, and it feels good I tell you. How many of these friends do you have, that there is almost always something to talk about, no matter how much time seperates you.