A walk down Memory Lane

Today I went to the gym after picking up my dad from the GO station and dropping him off at home. The place where I work out is right next to the baseball diamond I used to play in, Clarkson Park. Tonight, there was a little league night game.

After finishing my work out, I walked outside, and the game was still on so I thought to myself, hmm, why don’t I go take a walk over to see the game a little. I still remember playing on that field at night. Mosquitoes biting, lights bright as ever, and the trains every so often passing by behind it making tons of noise.

So as I watched, it brought back to many memories for me. I still have my jerseys from playing, the jockstrap (hehehe), the baseball caps. And as I look on, I don’t know why, but I miss playing, even thought I had a miserable time my three years playing.

It was in the late years of elementary school I played. The first year, I was playing on this team that I knew nobody. I wanted to play with my friends, but as luck would have it, I didn’t. That was a horrible rookie season for me individually. As a team, we did great, I got a trophy to prove it. But for me, I think I had a total of three hits the whole season, and two of them came in one game.

That game was very special for me, I don’t know why I did so well in that one game. I was playing all my friends that game, who were all on the other team. And one of the hits, I got off my good friend Peter Pellegrino (who I don’t even know where he is now though). And the other hit was off this supposedly amazing pitcher. So that was the highlight of my season, I don’t think I got another hit that year after that game.

The next two years I played was even worse. I don’t think I got a hit in either season. There was something wrong with me, I don’t know what. I sucked. I could not hit a ball for beans. It was me and this other guy I knew going head to head for worst batting average. Needless to say I did not have that much fun playing. I think I felt a lot of pressure to hit. The coaches were always yelling and hounding on players. And I think there was a lot of self pride in that I wanted to do amazing, but I just could not hit the ball.

So as I was watching today, it reminded me a lot of my days playing. I heard coaches yelling unnecessary things at the players. This one kid dropped a fly ball in the outfield, and this coach guy started saying in the dugout “we practiced that all Sunday…” on and on. All this disappointment is not good for a child. I wanted to yell back at the coach today, I had the urge to. I think it was the me of my childhood wanting to say something again.

I wondered as I stood there if I could hit the ball of that kid on the mound. I was thinking to myself, you know, I don’t know if I can even now. It’s shameful. But I guess I’ll never get a chance to try. I gusss thinking back I don't regret playing little leage, although I am still a but sad I did so poorly. I guess all I can say for those of you out there who do poorly at somethign is to keep on trying. I tried little league for three years and did very bad. Then I started CCSA, and I think I can say I am relatively good now. although they are two different leagues and ways of playing, it build confidence a little. I had not thought of little league in the longest time until now.

As I think back, I can honestly say those events scarred me for life. I remember before starting playing CCSA, I was very scared to play, and I was reluctant to play as well. This was because I knew I could not hit the ball, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself again by reliving the moments. But alas, I don’t remember how, but I did sign up, and here I am so many years later and still playing. I must say I think I’ve improved a lot over the years, even Yee Lee said that to me (thanks Yee Lee). But I am glad I faced my fear at that time. Even though CCSA softball is totally different from little league baseball, it was an obstacle I faced and I went over the hill.

I was thinking to myself as I left, if I’d ever push my children to play little league baseball. My parents never pushed me to play, I asked them myself when I knew my friends were playing. But I was thinking to myself that I’d want them to play. I’d want them to do well too, I don’t know why, maybe I just want them to have something I didn’t.

Current Events Today:
- Stocks rally big time today after a tumbling drop the past few days
- Loonie gained more than three quarters of a cent today, after losing more than a cent in one day two days ago
- Pope’s first vacation outside of Italy in 24 years, as he goes on a boat cruise on (ahem) beautiful Lake Simcoe