This blogging is not happening as frequently as hoped, however I have not forgot about it.

So a lot has been on my mind lately. But let me tellyou about what someone said to me today. So I was sitting in my seat in one of my courses, before the Prof started teaching. The guy in front of my got up to get a little more settled in. He looked at me, and said, "Hey, how's it going?". This guy I don't really know, don't know his name, but I have talked to him about assignments, and vice versa. So I said to him 'It's going good, what about you?", and he said to me, "eh, up and down", then he added "doesn't really matter cause no one really cares anyways when asking that." Then I thought to myself, is this really what you think, so I said "That's not true, I care".

But this has always been a beef of mine, and I talked about this before on this blog. How the "How are you?" salutations are not meaningful, because it's just a common courtesy, and not like you really do care. That's the problem these days, we do not spend enough time to actually care for people, to actually sincerely ask how they are doing. However, not only that, although some may sincerely ask how one is doing, the person answering usually does not want to get into their complicated lives to give a real answer, just usually a simple "good", or "it's ok".

It's just that in this age, we want to keep our lives to ourselves. And if we really wanted to burden someone with our problems, we'd approach them, not vice versa. But moreso because we just want to deal with it ourselves, we don't want ti explain, because it could be too complicated. But the thing is, maybe some people do want to know, or would not mind listening?

I know some people actually go long into their stories when someone just simple asks 'how are you doing", out of spite and to make them regret asking. hahaha, I'd do that too. I don't do it often, but possibly I may give an answer with hesitation, and then say "oh, it's just ok, not great, just ok", and then if they want to know more, then it's up to them to ask. Clearly I am not doing the greatest, something is on my mind, but I don't want to burdem them if they don't want it. So next time, if someone asks you "how you are?", at least be someone honest, and don't shrug it off.

Which leads me to my next thing I've been thinking about, also about friendships. I've been thinking about this, and it's made me sad to even think of it. Being in University, you get to meet a lot of people, from a lot of places, outside of the Toronto area, maybe outside of Ontario, maybe outside of Canada or North America. And throughout your time at University, you get to know them, become good friends with them. You try to make this their home, because perhaps their family is not close by. And through this time, you have this close relationship, 4 years probably, maybe more, maybe less. But then they graduate, and what happens next? They may leave.

Why this makes me sad is because this past year, I've seen a few of my friends leave, go elsewhere, work, school, home. And I think, what will happen to our friendship? Will the friendship be strong enough to make the distance a non-factor?

I wonder how come distance matters so much, or does the frienship matter to you? Because if it does, then why is distance a problem? It shouldn't be, but always is. This makes me sad because I think, when they leave, it will seem like I've lost a friend, and it feels like I've lost a lot too. Because I know that the distance will deteriorate the friendship, so much so it may not be existent in a few years. Is it wishful thinking now to say "When that time comes, for sure we'll continue to stay good friends, and keep in touch." As much as you want that to be true, I guess only sometimes it is.

But I guess you have to face reality, although you do not want to. I guess in some ways you wish they would like this place so much that they do not want to go back. But that is a bit selfish. their family may be back home, their closest friends as well. But sometimes it just hurts thinking you may have lost that friend once they leave. how can you keep it alive?

Let's say your best friend leaves, someone who you talked to about your deepest secrets, everything you've gone through. That is one of the hardest things come to think of it. Because you've almost lost the persno who you always go to for advice, help, someone to talk to. And it feels as if a part of you is gone.

And then there is scenario is a boyfriend/girlfriend going away for an extended period of time. Long distance relationships, how do you make them work? Do you look forward to the time when you'll be together again, whenever the seperation ends? But I would think in most cases, if they dont' break up before one of them leaves, then they would try harder to keep their relationship alive. So then how come this cannot be the same for just a friendship? How come we can let those die so easily, or do we let them die easily? I don't know.

But life goes on, and you cannot be selfish and think only about yourself. Because they have plans of their own, and their future life may not be where you want it to be. So you have to stay strong and support them. However it just makes me all sad just thinking of what is/potentially lost.